The Gaslight Journal Read online

Page 19

She wiped her nose on his handkerchief. “I know. I do not expect you to say anything. But, now it is all out in the open. Every sordid detail. And now you see why I simply cannot attend the ball. Simply put, I have nothing to wear.”

  She had shared much information with him, indeed, and he found himself now pacing the room while she continued to sniff and sob. What had happened? Why was it taking so long for the bank to get this over with? And with tomorrow being Christmas, there was simply no way to contact anyone to expedite the paperwork. No one would be in the office until the day after tomorrow. He had been so careful to make sure every piece of paper had been in place before the start of this. So why had it taken them this long to complete the job? He found the more he paced, the angrier he became. His job now depended on the expediency with which this simple job was accomplished, and if he could not even prove he could handle one transaction, then how would they ever trust him with future assignments?

  Izzy was done sniffling and looked at him as he paced. She could sense a change in him—she could now see the agitation and how angry he looked. What was wrong with him? Then it dawned on her. Of course! Mr. Whentworth also worked at the Fairtown Savings & Loan. An “Oh my Lord” escaped her lips before she could stop it, and he wheeled to look at her.

  “What is it?”

  Horrified, Izzy could only stare at him agape while the realization sank in. “You,” was all she could say.

  He was not seeing her connection. “Dearest, I do not understand. What is it?”

  She gained enough composure so that she could now confront him. “It was you. Why did I not see it before? I guess love really is blind.”

  He moved toward her to comfort her, but she immediately took a step backwards.

  This shocked him and he stopped. “Miss Audley? What is the matter with you?”

  “How could I not make the connection? You were the grand master behind this entire plan, were you not? Of course, I see it all now. The brand new talent at the local bank decides to impress his employers and mock his love interest at the same time, by being the officer in charge of his childhood friend’s home’s foreclosure. It is too clever!”

  “Miss Audley, I… ”

  “… do not interrupt me, Mr. Whentworth. I fear you have done enough. So, let me sum this up so as to make sure I understand it all.”

  He cut her off again. “You understand nothing, Miss Audley.”

  His terse tone shocked her into silence.

  “Now if you will kindly rest from all the jumping to conclusions that you have been doing, we can get to the bottom of this.”

  She would not be swayed. “Right now, you will have nothing to say that would sway my opinion of you and your unscrupulous dealings. In fact, I think it is time that you leave my home; or at least, while it is still my home.”

  “Miss Audley, again, you are misunderstanding.”

  “No, for the first time I see it clearly. Just tell me this, Mr. Whentworth: did you have a grand laugh at our expense? Was it worth everything you have put us through, knowing my mother was so very ill?”

  Now he was no longer sure she had moved from rhetoric to actual questions and he remained silent until he knew for sure.

  “How long have you been planning this intrigue? Since my return to town when you and your pack of idiot friends decided to knock me into the snow? Oh my goodness. You knew exactly who I was then, did you not?”

  He continued to wait for what might be his turn.

  “Well? Are you going to sit there and be dumb, or are you going to answer my questions?”

  “Oh, is it finally my turn to speak? I was not sure, what with all the rhetoric being spouted.”

  His audible anger unnerved Izzy—very rarely did Mr. Whentworth lose full control of his temper, but he certainly seemed to be on his way to doing so now.

  “Please forgive me for saying so—no, forget that, for I do not care if you forgive me or not. I will simply say it anyway. Never have I met another woman who has been more full of her own ego, than you!”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. You are so busy making hasty judgments and faulty conclusions based on incomplete or false information that there is clearly no room in that gorgeous head of yours for truth! You exasperate me, Miss Audley. You accuse me of things I would never consider doing, all because of your inability to draw a straight line from one piece of reliable information to the next. In fact, you even refuse to listen to reliable information! And for what? Do you actually enjoy being persecuted? It seems to me that you are not happy unless you think the entire world is planning a group ambush against you, and to be honest, it is wearing me out. I do not know how to cope with it any longer! I have tried to be nothing more than a constant in your life, because yes, I will be honest—I had been hearing rumors long before your arrival, but I did not wish them to be true. Then, on the off-chance I might be right, I decided that my love for you all these years could be a shining light in your ever-darkening world.”

  When he took a breath, Izzy began to speak but he silenced her.

  “What do you do with that love the first time you are faced with information that might need further explanation? You dump it back in my face like a dog’s vomit, freely impugning not only the character of myself, but also of the women I love—my family. Perhaps you are right in that the obstacles that now lie between us are causing too much of a chasm to be overcome. Perhaps I, too, have been blinded by love to see what has been in front of me this entire time; that your newfound drop in status could be too much for us to overcome. Perhaps I had wanted this to work between us so badly that I was not allowing anyone to give me reliable information when they had it.”

  “What information?” croaked Izzy, now near tears.

  He ignored this. “I did not want to listen to both my mother and sister’s counsel the day after I had tea with you. They both were trying to tell me that a man of my means and breeding should be careful in my attachments, for not everyone’s motives are laced with altruism.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That perhaps you knew all along about the demise of your family’s fortune, and you, the great opportunist, saw a perfect opportunity in me to rebuild your family’s reputation and fortune. Is that what you were thinking of when you agreed to be my wife?”

  Izzy was now livid. “How dare you! Let us not forget that it was you who did the asking. You kissed me first, and you proposed marriage to me. How insolent you are to suggest that I could even do such an unscrupulous thing! I have never been accused of such heinous charges in my life, and I certainly have better things to do than hear more of it from you. I think this would be a good time for you to leave.”

  And just as he realized she was probably right, he turned to go, but not before she stopped him.

  “And another thing. Just so there is no future questions about my thoughts on the matter, I will tell you straight out, that I never once believed your motives with Miss Hastings to be so pure. Even when we were in school and there were times that you and I would have a row, you had a propensity for immediately turning to Miss Hastings in your hurt, then you would come running back with your tail hanging like some scolded dog when things between us improved. So go. Have a wonderful evening with your Miss Hastings. In fact, have a wonderful life with your Miss Hastings, for I wish to never see you again!”

  As he turned to leave, she picked up the nearest crystal vase, and hurled it at his head.

  He rounded on her and in two steps closed the gap between them, and without thinking grabbed both her wrists to keep her from hitting him. Instead of speaking, he was now just inches from her face, and he took the opportunity to stare deep into her green eyes. So close was he to her, that he could smell hints of her perfume, which always made him crazy with desire.

  She continued to struggle; he continued to stared.

  This disarmed Izzy, and soon she stopped struggling. For endless minutes, the two inescapable lovers stared at one another, both u
nsure what to say or do next.

  Finally, Mr. Whentworth broke the spell with a whisper. “That is fine, Miss Audley. I will be happy to accompany Miss Hastings. She has always been more receptive and willing than you, anyway.”

  At this, Izzy broke a hand free and swiftly used it to slap his left cheek.

  But he was unfazed and did not move. “Miss Audley, you are incredibly predictable. And do you know what? I find predictable very boring.”

  Before he could move, she slapped him again with more force.

  Still, he did not move.

  “You do realize, that hitting me more often will have no more effect.”

  This encounter was so strange to Izzy, that she was uncertain as to what to say.

  “Now. I am going to leave in a moment because I need to get myself ready for the ball. It will be a pleasure to escort Miss Hastings. And truthfully, without you there to bother us, I will be able to freely dance with her as much as I like. Besides, in as much as I can remember, she loves to dance and freely show affection. She has no problem with frigidity.”

  Izzy hit him again, and this time he let her wrist go in order to grab his stinging face. He did not say a word, and promptly exited their home, while Izzy crumpled into a heap in the sitting room where she wailed uncontrollably.

  Chapter 24

  Do, Come Dance With Me

  Do, Come Dance with Me (Chapter Twenty-Four)

  Twenty-minutes later, Isabella was accompanying Dr. Davis to her mother’s bedchamber, explaining to an astounded Lilly that she had changed her mind; she would be attending the evening’s ball after all. She dared not share her previous encounter with Mr. Whentworth, for if Lilly knew the two had been engaged, then quarreled, then declared to never see the other again, she was certain it would set Lilly into another attack—this one possibly so severe that she may never recover.

  So, the story Izzy told her mother was that she had simply changed her mind and with the state of their affairs, was certain that a night out of the house would be good for her spirits. Luckily, Lilly was in high spirits—probably from her caller in Dr. Davis—and therefore Izzy was certain that she could have suggested anything to her mother, and her mother agree.

  After making sure Dr. Davis would be with Lilly all throughout the evening, Izzy made her way across the hallway to her own room, where she began scouring through the left-over dresses, in hopes of finding something suitable to wear that would not get her laughed out of the ball. She was on shaky-enough ground and did not need to be an overt cause for further scrutiny. As she eyed each of the gowns she had left, she felt her heart sink, certain in the knowledge that nothing in her wardrobe was suitable for the evening’s festivities. Just as she was thinking of giving up this daft idea, she remembered that she had not yet unpacked her steamer trunk from her return trip! She located the trunk against her wall and yanked it open. There, on top of the pile of dresses, was a shimmering scarlet-colored gown with unusual gold trim. It would be perfect. She had worn this very gown just last winter at Radcliffe’s own Christmas ball. And while none of the gentlemen at the dance were obviously Radcliffe students, she had met some very nice young men. Nothing had resulted between any of them, but she had thoroughly enjoyed herself that evening.

  She pulled the gown out of the trunk and began smoothing some of its creases, quietly cursing herself for not having aired it out before now. But when she brought the trunk to her room, she had no idea that in the near future, she would need to wear one of the gowns because would have no clothing left. She laughed out loud. The thought of taking one’s own clothes to settle a debt seemed ludicrous.

  She sensed the lateness of the hour, which spurred her into action. She rang for Elizabeth and began unwinding her head full of braids. She hated having to keep her hair locked up in piles on top of her head. She had always believed that a woman’s beauty lay in the crowning glory that was her hair, and it was simply unfair of society to demand that only a husband be allowed to revel in its beauty. This was another reason Izzy hated society’s rules.

  But, now was not the time to dwell upon such things. She had little time to ready herself and get to the hall across town. She would need to requisition Charles and her carriage, so after Elizabeth had tied her into her corset, she rang for Charles and had him pull the carriage round to the front steps and wait for her there.

  An hour later, she had kissed her mother good-night, said her good evenings to Dr. Davis, and made her way down the front steps of Capriolé as a beautiful, wet snow began to fall. It was now dusk, and the blue washed thoroughly washed over the town, painting the newly-fallen snow a serene thallium hue. As the carriage strolled through Fairtown’s streets, Izzy could hear her heart beating in her chest, and shifted nervously in the hopes of quieting the organ, but to no avail. This seemed to unnerve her even more, and now that she had time to think, she began to examine her motives for running out on her mother on Christmas night, to brave the cold, to brave another heavy snowfall, and to attend a function where she was undoubtedly not wanted.

  Now that the carriage settled into a gentle stride, Izzy was alone enough with her thoughts to allow them to wander back to Mr. Whentworth, and the horrible row that had occurred between them earlier. How dare he assume either I would not wish to be there, or that I would not be wanted! This thought burned her face with anger. Another thing she could not understand, was if he truly meant that he would form an acquaintanceship with Miss Hastings now that they both began to question whether becoming engaged had been a good idea. She wondered how a person would ever know if their true love would last forever. Marriage was a gamble, this was true. And how couples had been able to remain married and faithful to the other, sometimes for over fifty-years, was always a source of wonder to her. After all, her parents had been married for over twenty-five years, and look how happ…

  She stopped before ruining her face with tears that would not end. With the distractions with Lilly’s attack and the unexpected turn of events with Mr. Whentworth, she had not given herself time to process everything regarding Father’s indiscretion.

  But, one life disaster at a time. She needed to concentrate on what she would do when she saw Mr. Whentworth on the arm of her best friend. Perhaps dancing the night away with every available bachelor who proffered a hand would teach him to trifle with her heart. Or would she simply never look in their direction? Perhaps he had made a gross underestimation in tipping his hand to her, for now that she knew his true feelings, she knew what a source of power this was for her. For, if the truth be known, this was the only reason she had decided to attend—in hopes of making Mr. Whentworth jealous. She giggled. Perhaps she knew him better than she originally thought. While she had never considered herself to be overtly attractive, she was never in want of a decent suitor, unless she chose to the contrary. And in now knowing the depth of his love for her, her confidence in her ability to keep his affections rose with each passing second, and soon, she could not wait to walk into that ballroom and let the show begin.

  She did not want to think, however, of the reception that awaited her from her female acquaintances. She had no way of gauging the reception, since she had no clear confidant awaiting her there. This proved to unnerve her even more. It used to be Rachel. The two had been inseparable. What a blessing to have another friend who would always support you. But sadly, she no longer had that with Rachel, and she missed her terribly.

  Then as the carriage rolled by The Blackberry Patch Café, her thoughts unwillingly strayed to the day she saw both Rachel and Mr. Whentworth. I simply cannot wait to see the looks on both their faces when I walk into that ballroom. I have just as much right to be there as they do!

  The carriage suddenly lurched into a hole and tossed her forward, thus jolting her from her daydreams. She could feel her anxiety pitching higher and nearly asked Charles if he would return the carriage home, but as she thought of this, she realized that if she did not put in an appearance, then it would give Mr. Whentworth t
he satisfaction of knowing that he was able to affect her, and she was determined, no matter how painful the initial experience, to never allow him that.

  Soon, the carriage pulled into the cordoned area for other carriages, and Charles helped her out. She could hear the music through the open windows, and with the orange glow of nearby torches illuminating her way, she could feel some of her anxiety quiet as the holiday spirit began to overtake her. She was not certain, but the band might have been playing an old Celtic Christmas carol, with enough energy to provide for a decent dance.

  Her pace quickened as she rushed to get inside and investigate the festivities for herself. After the doorman checked her invitation, she was shown into an inner foyer, where an attendant took her wrap. The deeper into the expansive mansion she went, the warmer the temperature became, what with the hundreds of bodies and fires built up to great heights in the massive fireplaces.

  Within minutes, Izzy found herself standing in the doorway to the great hall. So overcome with its stately beauty, she only peeked into the room, too frightened to enter. She had never seen the Aitchison home before, but had heard wonderful things about its architecture and history. One of the oldest lineages in New York, the Aitchisons had come to prominence by 1860 with their old money from the gold-rush in Melbourne, Australia. With that sort of affluence, one soon discovers they have more friends than they knew.

  But the Audleys never sidled up to anyone based on their wherewithal. John Audley had taught his family this, for he would have none of it. And yet, the irony is that because of his brains and smart business-dealings, it brought the Audleys to their own circumstances of prominence, and soon found others attempting this with them.

  Finally ready to face whatever happened, she gathered her courage and entered. Just as she did, she heard someone yell, “Look! The Audley girl has dared show her face here!”

  The band stopped playing and every person in the room turned to face her. Suddenly overcome with embarrassment and extreme heat, she felt her head begin to swim and she crumpled to the floor.